


Knowing

by sanctuary_for_all



Series: Partners [16]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Established Relationship, Feels, M/M, Steve loves Danny So Much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 02:39:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14510709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctuary_for_all/pseuds/sanctuary_for_all
Summary: Finally, she took a deep breath. “I know better than anyone how… addicting he can be. It’s like being loved by a storm – these huge sweeps of emotion that just consume you.” Her gaze went distant, something almost mournful flickering across her face. “You’ll never be loved like that again.”Steve and Rachel talk about Danny.





	Knowing

**Author's Note:**

> I should probably apologize for this, but the concept has been knocking around in my head long enough that it's almost a relief to get it out on paper. Also, remember, Charlie isn't Danny's kid in this universe (though she had to wonder at first - the timeline kind of demands it - I say she got a DNA test soon after Charlie was born.)

There was still a week left of summer break, which meant that Rachel dropped Grace off instead of making the exchange at school like they did the rest of the year. This time, the arrangement was practical for other reasons, as Grace hurried around to the trunk of the car as soon as her mother opened it. “Danno!” she called out, pulling out a huge, brightly wrapped package. “If you help me carry in your present, I won’t make you wait until Saturday to open it!”

Danny moved to intercept, giving Rachel a nod as he took the other end of Grace’s package. When she let go, he gave her an amused look. “When you said help, I take it you actually meant ‘do it for you?’”

“You wouldn’t want your only daughter to suffer, would you?” Grace asked, grinning up at him as she slid her arm through this. “Besides, if I was helping you carry it I couldn’t do this.”

They headed into the house like that, talking the whole way, while Steve grabbed the backpack that Grace had forgotten. She’d undoubtedly remember it in a few minutes, once the excitement over Danny seeing his present had been forgotten, but by then Rachel would have probably left already.

Or maybe not. She’d gotten out of the car at some point, and was still standing by her door watching Danny and Grace as they headed into the house. The look on her face… it was more than nostalgia. It was… well, it looked a lot like longing.

He remembered what Danny had said during their conversation about rings, as he'd laid a hand over his heart. _“But I didn’t stop being a New Jersey cop in here until that whole mess you got into with Governor Jameson. That was when I realized I couldn’t walk away from you any more than I could Gracie.”_

Rachel had been pregnant with Charlie when that happened. Rachel, who had flown out to New Jersey with Grace right around the same time Steve had been arrested. Who had, Steve realized suddenly, expected Danny to be in the seat next to hers.

The realization left him with the same hollow-stomached feeling that came when a brush with death was close enough to let him feel the chill. It was distracting enough that he stayed where he was too long, enough that he was still there when the front door shut and Rachel finally turned away. She saw that he’d been watching her, Grace’s backpack hooked over his left shoulder, and there was a flash of surprise and something rawer in her eyes when she focused on his hand. Specifically, the re-sized Newark P.D. ring he was wearing on his ring finger.

When she met his eyes, however, there was no expression on her face at all. “Grace told me you’d gotten engaged.”

Given how deeply Grace had thrown herself into wedding plans, Steve guessed the conversation hadn’t been recent. “We did.”

She hesitated. “And she got permission for the—“

“She didn’t have to get permission.” He and Grace had had several conversations about which high performance blender to get Danny, in fact, and when the right one had proven to be out of her price range he’d helped pay for it. But that wasn’t what Rachel meant. “It’s her and Danny’s house, just as much as it is mine.”

Rachel tensed, but made no move to get back in the car. Steve knew this was probably his cue to say something polite and go back into the house with Danny and Grace. But it felt like she was gearing up for something to say, and odds were it wasn’t going to be good. Whatever it was, he wanted it to be at him rather than Danny.

Finally, she took a deep breath. “I know better than anyone how… addicting he can be. It’s like being loved by a storm – these huge sweeps of emotion that just _consume_ you.” Her gaze went distant, something almost mournful flickering across her face. “You’ll never be loved like that again.”

She didn’t seem to expect Steve to respond to that, which was good because he didn’t have a clue what he was supposed to say. This wasn’t the conversation he’d been expecting, and he was having a hell of a time figuring out where she was going with it.

She shook her head a little, then refocused on Steve. “But you can’t hold all of him.” There was something almost urgent in her voice now, like she was giving him a warning. “The storm isn’t yours, it’s just a storm. And you’ll start resenting all those other pieces of himself he spills out everywhere, all the energy he pours into things that are a million miles away from you.” She looked him square in the eye. “You can’t contain him, no matter how hard you try. You have to be ready for that.”

Only then did Steve understand that she really _was_ trying to warn him, as if Danny was some kind of ambush she’d survived and was trying to prepare him for. A part of him wanted to laugh at the sheer absurdity of it, while another part was angry at her for making Danny sound like a problem instead of the most amazing person Steve had ever met. It was an old internal argument of Steve’s – he wanted to hate her for how much she’d hurt Danny, but at the same time he owed her a hell of a lot for screwing up like she did. If Rachel hadn’t divorced Danny and dragged him to Hawaii, Steve never would have met him.

Most importantly of all, though, she was Grace’s mother.

This time, it was Steve’s turn to take a deep breath. “If you stop Danny caring about other people, you stop him being Danny.”

And oh, Steve could suddenly see it. Danny feeling Rachel’s dissatisfaction, the sense that she wasn’t getting enough from him even though he was giving her everything he had, and deciding that meant _he_ wasn’t enough.  That his huge heart, which loved with the kind of ferocity that would take on anything and everything for the people he claimed, was somehow lacking.

Rachel’s jaw tightened. “You’ll grow to resent it,” she said. “You’ll realize he’ll never really be yours, the same way I did.”

He pushed the anger down again, knowing it wouldn't help anything. Taking care of Danny was what mattered right now. “As long as I’m still his, I’ll be grateful every single day of my life,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to hold onto Danny’s light. I want to be the thing that helps it keep shining.”

And he would spend the rest of his life making absolutely sure that Danny knew he was everything Steve could ever possibly want.

Rachel's eyes narrowed. "Are you saying I didn't love my husband enough?"

There was only one possible way he could answer that question. "Not the way he deserved to be loved."

Rachel’s gaze flared with challenge, but before she could say anything else the front door opened again. “Uncle Steve! You have to be here when Danno opens his present!” She looked over at her mother, surprised. “Did I forget something?”

Rachel collected herself immediately. “Just your backpack, sweetheart.” She stepped away quickly, heading for the car door, as Danny appeared in the doorway. “Steve has it.”

Grace waved, but Danny’s brow lowered in an automatic suspicious look. Rachel got back in the car and drove away without looking at either him or Danny, and Steve shook his head as he walked back toward the house. He didn’t know if Rachel found what she’d been looking for with that discussion, but he’d learned a lot.

Grace had gone back inside, but Danny was still waiting for him at the door. “What was that?” he asked, voice low as he gestured with his head in the direction Rachel had driven.

Steve leaned down to give Danny a long, thorough kiss, then smiled a little after they broke apart. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

Danny gave him a suspicious look. “Okay, now I’m _really_ confused. There is _nothing_ Rachel could have possibly said that would make you leap to that conclusion.”

Steve smiled, wrapping his arm around Danny’s shoulders. “Oh, I already knew it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come check out my [original fiction,](https://jennifferwardell.wixsite.com/mybooks) my [blog,](http://jennifferwardell.blogspot.com) or say hi to me on [Tumblr](http://sanctuaryforalluniverses.tumblr.com)!


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